When I Grow Up

When I was little, I wanted to be a FBI agent like my grandfather was. But I didn't really want to kill anyone or even shoot at anyone, so I thought I could just work for the FBI in the crime labs in Washington, D.C. So, by the time I was in 6th grade and my teacher Mr. Brown asked me what I wanted to be when I got older, I answered, "I want to be a biochemical engineer." I assumed that all biochemists worked for the FBI. Where else would they work?

Look at me now, Mr. Brown. I am an English Major with a Creative Writing Minor to top it off. Funny how things change.

I always had reservations about becoming an English Major. Academically, it was wonderful, but practically, well, I had (and perhaps still do) a lot of insecurities about what I was going to do after college. Recently, I applied for a job at a bookstore and had an interview, and I'm waiting to hear back. If I end up getting this job, I think I'll really enjoy it.

If I don't get this job, well, then it's back to Square 1. But, I do have a plan.

I think the next line of work I should pursue is stunt driving. Why?
1. I'm an awesome driver.
2. I'm an awesome driver.
3. I believe in the power of the seat belt.
4. Because I believe in the power of the seat belt, I'm not scared to off-road, do donuts, run over bicycles that don't belong to anyone and were going to be recycled anyway, and go really, really fast.
5. It'd be awesome.

"It's nice to meet you, Kat. What do you do?"
"I'm a professional stunt driver, mostly Ferraris."
"Wow. Um, can I have your phone number? I lost mine."

See how wonderful it'd be?

There are driving schools around here somewhere, I'm sure. I don't see why they wouldn't accept me.

But then maybe this bookstore will hire me. And then with my English Major skills, I'll write a book about stunt drivers and just daydream about fast cars.

And then if that doesn't work, I guess it'll have to be the FBI. But no biochemistry for me. I would singlehandedly bring down the Periodic Table. By accident. By a big, explosive, radioactive accident.